Monday, August 18, 2008

My Journey To NYC- Part 3

The details of the next month or so are not necessarily important (they are important, just not for my purposes now), and really too much to share right now, but there were a few significant times I'll mention.

1) Freddy T. and I spent lots and lots of time talking and praying over this decision. There were some key questions Freddy T. had for Aaron in which his answers would be significant for us to keep praying about this opportunity. They were answered the way we needed them to be.

2) Carmen, Aaron's wife, made a special trip to Clarksville to visit with me and Jack. It was helpful for me to get to speak very honestly with her and ask her a lot of questions and here her perspective and encouragement along the way. There was no pressure, just a good listening ear and a prayerful spirit toward us.

As we continued to pray we felt like it was of the Lord for us to make the move to NYC. The only red flag for me was they wanted us there in October. All along I was thinking, and so was Freddy T., that the move would happen after the twins were born. It scared me to think it would happen sooner than that. What would I do? Who would help me with Jack if I went on bed rest? How will I get acquainted with the city and be prepared to set up a home and play with Jack and be ready to bring the twins home? All these questions consumed me.

Freddy T. sought counsel from a few men. One in particular, who I have deep respect for, said "When God is calling you somewhere, he is usually calling you now." Wow. At the time I don't know if I understood that, but as we get closer to the move date I'm feeling the weight of that. Our calling is now to go to New York. Freddy shared with me some of his conversations and his heart about it, he allowed me some time, and God reshaped my mind and heart and opened it to the idea of moving in October. I know this is of the Lord. The peace that is in my heart about the timing of our move is "perfect peace." I also know it's of the Lord because as we have shared with family and friends and church family, the Lord has given me unbelievable strength and faith. Those few weeks of sharing one on one with different family and friends was the hardest two weeks of my life. I wanted to share our excitement with them, but it came with great sadness in my heart that our news would be devastating to them. The Lord was so faithful and steady with us over that time. Under other circumstances, some of the questions and concerns and comments we have gotten would have shaken me to the core. I've not once been shaken. Understand, pregnant girl with twins (double the hormones and emotions), with an active 1 1/2 year old, trying to pack a house, sell belongings, move to a huge, new city, away from family, wanting to settle before the twins come, tired all at the same time, raising our own salary, and preparing for our family to have a new experience unlike anything we've ever known before, and I'm 100% confident and excited and unshaken in my faith that we are doing the right thing. Sure I have concerns of my own. There is nothing anyone has shared with us that we have not considered. I don't know how we will do it. I don't know where the money will come from exactly. I don't know a lot of things, but I do know that God has not called us to go and leave us to figure this out on our own. I'll share soon of all the ways so far God has shown his faithfulness and provision. He is going to provide our needs. Our little girls name is going to be Lillie. I looked that word up in the Bible a few months ago and went straight to Matthew where it talks about the beauty and splendor of how the lilies are clothed and yet our Father cares more about us than the lilies, surely he will provide our needs. I know he will!

I hope you are encouraged. We need your prayers. There is still so much to do between now and October, especially in the next few weeks. We are excited and very busy! I can't wait to share in the next post of how the Lord has provided for us so far.


Amber said...

Susan...thanks for sharing your heart. I have been encouraged by your faith in God and we support you and Freddy 100%. It was great to see you this weekend! My family really enjoyed little Jack! Let me know if I can do anything to help you in the next few weeks!
love you

laura said...

I enjoyed reading your blog. Looking forward to your arrival. Let me know if I can help in any way or if I can answer any questions.


angie said...

i'm with amber...joe and i support you 100%. it is so amazing to watch God's plan for your life unfold!

we love you :)

christi said...

You're so right! How can our questions and concerns hold us back when we KNOW our God is so much bigger...what can't he do?!?! Praise God for the strength He's given you to not get discouraged. No one can tell you anything that God hasn't thought of and prepared/provided for first!!